Majestic Harvest squats in an abandoned theatre then steals the highly successful marketplace-cafe model. Industrial decor, bread on wooden boards, cold pressed juices, fry pans used as plates - a hipster beehive. 

The only show worth my time is an honest, unique and filling feed that is tax-free from gimmicks. Turns out, the true theatre here is one of irony. Coffee art is good but flavour no better than instant.

  

Vege patch, my choice. Waiter gives a confirmatory nod. Out it comes and my natural yellow hue now resembles the $$$ red cabbage sold nearby. Plate coverage appalls me. Egg is not the tallest element on the stack - plating 101!  

A few spears, flat mushrooms on a semi-dense brick. I'm reminded of a veggie pattie without the best part, the crunch. Truffle salse verde sounds world class, yet all I taste is oil (too much). My first poached egg is so lonely without a Siamese twin. Only one popping episode available ...

The Majestic is in effect, the big breakfast.

Awkward pan forgiven by virtue of multiple generous elements. Ex-kale, this is boring and produce quality is not obvious. 

No doubt, the pan's only staring role was presentation, not cooking. Eater awards 8/10, but like his toddler son at the table, he knows no better. 

Patience is crumbling, like a block of feta that Lorie's dish needs for flavour.  

Baked eggs is a chef yardstick. The kitchen commits every conceivable sin: 

- Oily film on-top, watery texture underneath

- Minute dish, stingy on Chorizo, slither of bread

- Tasteless without any salt or seasoning

Lorie chokes this down then offloads scraps to me. Meanwhile, the unborn with her palate for (good) baked eggs utters the first word.... I won't repeat blasphemy on this blog.

Now comes eggs benny.

A serving of stinginess, compounded by a rapidly coagulating hollandaise sauce. First world problem, third world value. 

No surprise to my scoring:

- Food - 6/10 - good looking produce, but thematic of underwhelming flavours.

- Value - 5/10 - high teens pricing harvests the wallet, not the soul.

- Other - 5/10 - inattentive service. Nearby juice bar is understandably empty. 

- Overall - 5/10 - love of food takes a serious beating. 

I do not recommend. I consider buying the flowers as tomb decoration.  

Will I be returning?

No