Race, Brunch, Repeat

"Great brunch, please bring the car around" was my departing remark to the missus. To get 7+ in my books, I want to see creativity and be left satisfied.

There is great debate where Obi Wan continually disappears to between the multiple Star Wars Episodes. Turns out, he mans a Moroccon kitchen in Balmain. Kasbah and OW are both institutionally old-school, stubbornly resisting a landscape where society lusts for next level experiences. Decor and menu is still stuck in the 1990s and tables are empty. I love it.

Jug is self-pouring, shown below.



In the non-pancake section, World Famous Tagine is circled in red, which we know inspires hunger; ask Ronald McDonald, the Rooster or Colonel Sanders. An exotic sounding Chakchouka is in the slimming colour Black; not a good sign.



Roast Pumpkin Tagine with mushroom, spinach, capsicum, tomato, feta, onion and eggs - $22.50



We're beside ourselves with excitement seeing a tagine pot on a board.

Not the type of sauce that is tomato-based. Kasbah's version is more reliant on a slow cook-down of the vegetables. Semi-viscous yolk runs rampant over slowly roasted pumpkin.



Similar to SW Episodes 1-3, bread is best left collecting dust. I've never seen a good episode of Turkish bread and the lifelessly dry pieces remind me why.

Overall, good flavour but way too pricey for an everyday choice. 8/10.

Side of hummus



Hummus bypasses Turkey and ends up in the mouth. Silky smooth, delicious by itself. Minor step below Kepos Street Kitchen (Sydney's best).

Chakcouka scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and salmon roe on toast - $21



Wife wastes 20 min jousting folded eggs and smoked salmon mounted on toast. She is outmatched by the dark arts of deception in a leaf with 8 balls. Why this is added is beyond me...



I like the seasoning and careless layering. DYI reverse engineering - Turkish bread from Coles, large plate from IKEA, caged eggs from Aldi. Forgettable and enjoyable giving 7/10.

With a low starting bar, the upside is considerable:

- Food - 8/10 - as true to Morocco flavours as you can find in Balmain.
- Value - 6/10 - over $20 pp but generous serves with a fall back option on (bad) bread.
- Other - 7/10 - $3.80/hr street parking and no valet. Staff are not students in short-shorts.
- Overall - 7.5/10 - surpasses my low expectations with good flavour and a food coma.

If you believe Harrison Ford is better in the pre-2000 era than today, then Kasbah is worth a visit.

Will I be returning?
Yes. I don't show my photo in bad reviews so here I am.


Disclaimer - big fan of the latest Star Wars Episode 7. 

 

12 hours separation between croissants for breakfast and doughnuts for dessert - this is the norm. Brewtown Newtown disrupts conventional meal plans through a clever cross-breed of the two. The Cronut.

Despairing competition return fire with bruffins (brioche + muffin) and even doughnut milkshakes. BN is one-step ahead and now we have the cruffin (croissant + muffin). A beautiful abomination.



Well, it's a calorie bloodbath and liposuction practitioners are rejoicing.

Back in brunch world, BN is on the offensive. Everything is 'on-trend' and my food vocab is expanding as fast as the waistline - black sausage, gravlax, gazpacho, shoulder's of farm animals.



Two mains are shot out in 15 min and the table resembles a see-saw. Large kid LHS (pork) and a malnourished kid RHS (salad).

Round 1.

Chilli pork shoulder hash with fennel, peas, poached egg and toast - $17



Lots of pork is hidden. This pig clearly had self-esteem issues because he was one, overfed beast with a sky high BMI. What you want is a fatty protein rendered down into a gooey, succulent mess. Slather this with yolk and it's a fail safe combo.



Perhaps the fennel is overcooked and the potato too soggy. I revert back to this for comfort - don't order a pork knuckle at the pub then complain about the side salad.

Calorie counters may criticise the heaviness of a mount of fatty pork. For me, I can't count over 1,000 and in any case, under $20 for a food coma is good value. Not pretty but neither was the hog. 8/10.

Onto the salad, where wisdom tells me to add chicken and poached egg.

Superfood Salad with Poached Chicken and Poached Egg - $16 + $3 + $4



Way too much going on and I'm not distracted by citrus slithers nor leaves.

It's all about the chicken and pumpkin show and this is one show that must not go on. Feels like shredded chicken and the pumpkin is missing the fresh-of-the-oven sensation.

Poached egg is always good, but note the $4 price tag for a non-biodynamic egg.



Over $20 for unnecessary complexity in a standard salad. 6/10.

Two dishes give a blended score of 7. Can the cronut or cruffin save BN from shame status? I'm risk averse and choose cinnamon cronut.



French plus American marriages do not work - too sweet. Scraps go to the wife. I say 5/10, she scores 8. Whenever is the wife right?

Small sample set but the food is well off recommended status.

- Food - 7/10 - theoretical innovation, dishes seem hit-and-miss.
- Value - 7/10 - $4 for a lonesome poached egg. What more is there to say.
- Other - 6/10 - fast turnaround on a weekday, but the weekend wait is ridiculous.
- Overall - 7/10 - innovation for it's own sake. Not your ever day joint.

Food bucket list -1, cafe go-to-list unchanged (at 3), blacklist of friends with a bad recommendation +1.

Will I be returning?
Eyes on the Black Sausage. Once you go black, you can't go back.

Cafe Shekin shares the same excellent brunch genetics of its Enmore-based mother; Middle-Eastern tilt, massive serves. Honestly, the main difference is amusement over the local clientele.



Erskinville is weird. I observe marauding zombies sucking disposable cups whilst dragging squealing beasts on chains. False alarm - it's just a young demographic of coffee-addicts where ownership of a designer dog is mandatory.

Menu is the same as Enmore! No point repeating the fabulous avocado falafel (The Bite) or baked eggs (Shakshuka) when I've ventured this far...

Lucky, there is back-up.



Shenkin Stack - salmon, egg, bocconocini, labanne and tomato on sourdough - $18.

'Stack' has positive word associations. Thus I don't read the ingredients.



Similar to school and career, lack of literacy skills hurts. I may be on detention.

Clean egg-slicing technique and salmon layering appeals to my OCD. Taste wise, my best translation is a bruschetta married to a DIY Philadelphia cream-cheese job. Boring.



Above, note a giant leaf. It's a decoy and I fell for it. Next time, read the ingredients. 5/10.

Smoked eggplant, zuccini, israeli salad with creamy tahini sauce - $18

Like a black truffle (sub-terrain), a smoked eggplant is a rare find in cafes. Happy days when I sniff one out. Base is crispy with that beautiful charred flavour. With creamy sauce, there is a beautiful contrast.

Fresh, filling and tasty. How can I complain. 8/10.


Shenkin (any outpost) is 8/10. Though you'll never leave hungry at Shenkin, dish selection is an art:

- Good  - The Bite, Shakshuka, Hummus Plate.
- Regret - Shenkin Stack and any standard non-Israeli affairs.

Will I be returning?
Enmore, Surry Hills, Newtown or Erskinville. All the same.

In the world of farm-to-plate breakfasts, John Smith Cafe is my key pick for the forthcoming Silly Season.

Notice how beautiful food is normally restricted to rip-off degustations or vegan cafes? No longer, because the JS signature is below.



I'm very proud of my DSLR work standing on a stool.



Day kicks off reading a deceptively unique, seasonal and healthy menu. Top right - kitchen is showcasing some recently slaughtered animals. Vegetarians be warned.



I'm torn between two lamb choices. 'Shoulder' sounds fattier and tastier.

Slow cooked lamb shoulder with watercress, pearl cous cous and charred fennel - $22



Tick to yummy pull-apart and moist lamb. Well integrated is charred fennel and very light pearl balls. Feels premium, looks great and the statistician in me notes the lamb-to-ball ratio. Bang on, resulting in ideal density indulgence.

Each chew results in deep pleasure. I deny the missus a sharing opportunity; thus the main cost is not a blown $20 budget, but 3 days on the coach. Wallet survives, home situation unsure... 8/10.

Next up, more of a yardstick. Chicken, quinoa salad is dangerously overplayed in cafes but never before have I seen beetroot hummus.

Quinoa, roasted vegetable salad with beetroot hummus and chicken - $14 + 4


Expectations are very high based on the visual of this red substance.



Good protein generosity (say 150g). One of few cafe salads that avoids putting the diner on a rapid weight loss program. Individual elements are very sophisticated.

Sauce situation disappoints. I want bold flavours but the hummus is too mild. Still, I'm happy and full. 7/10.

Finally, the dish that has catapulted John Smith to stardom on social media. It's a beauty.
Hot avocado salsa, goats cheese and lime on sourdough - $16 + $3


I'm told blogger custom is to show aerial shots.


What a great cure to avo-on-toast disenchantment. We're forced to discard generational shackles of Asian lactose intolerance and embrace goats cheese OD. Enjoyment of flavour intensity is hosed down by the crippling knowledge I paid $3 for an egg. 8/10.

First visit was 7.5/10. I add 0.5pts due to the milking and slaughtering of animals:

- Food - 8/10 - great flavours, sophisticated offers.
- Value - 8/10 - relative to hipster joints, good calorie/$ ratio
- Other - 8/10 - hipster over-crowding issues but nails the coffee. Staff are so nice.
- Overall - 8/10 - a fancy, value-conscious take on classics.

Happy to recommend John Smith as a top 5 brunch in Sydney.

Will I be returning?
Yes
 Final shots below of the barista operation. Skinny cap. Tastes just right.



Red head barista is one of the owners.

Darlinghurst locals are falling victim to a new type of crime occurring in the 7-11am weekend window. The ugly side of an ongoing baked-eggs warfare is some seriously high-priced, sub-par offences. Bootsdarling is my lead suspect.

Don't worry, they make bail on ridiculously good coffee trade.

Bootsdarling is popularised by the baristas with a shoebox kitchen dishing seasonal upgrades to Gen Y classics. As shown, the result is highly conducive to social media proliferation.



Seat-space is limited and those with a generous frame (or equivalent) will not be happy, shown below.


Shashuka with Chorizo - $18 + $4. 

An unswerving in a mission to discover Sydney's best baked eggs. Ordering this is no brainer.


Love at first sight. No point reviewing a Chorizo. You’d be mad to hate this breed of salty protein.

The sauce initially impresses with good thickness. Excellent overlay of flaked almonds. Even better is stabbing butter-soft pumpkin on a fork. Hopes are high.


Wow, and not the good type. Cumin, cumin and more cumin! We suspect the cook was hand-picked from an Indian curry house.

First step, douse the dish in salt. No luck. Next I'm left hand-picking pumpkin pillows and almond flakes. This action is as therapeutic as it is frustrating. Everything except the sauce was good. 6/10.

Bondi Bowl with kale, mushroom, avocado, poached egg plus grilled trout - $18 + $7



Yes, $25 for an artery cleanser. Looks small, is small and confirms Boots is tapping into the wholefoods epidemic. Salad for breakfast is a never-ending mistake I make (with some exceptions).

Dish is mainly the un-worked greens, a baby grilled trout with cheeky squirt of lemon. To be fair, poaching execution is faultless.



Though no better than DIY, belt buckle feels less tight. Maybe because my wallet has shrunk. 7/10.

Bacon & Egg Roll - $8. 



Rename this a slider, or impale with a toothpick and serve as finger food. Bun-to-female-hand comparison demonstrates any cheese-bacon induced joy will be short-lived.



Bacon situation? Crispy, fat-streaked and juicy. No wonder St Vincent's Hospital has patient capacity issues. Good flavours, fresh but fail on value 5/10.

Double cheese toastie with tomato relish - $10.

Ingredient #1 is halloumi and we stop reading. No idea what comes after that.



Thick slices but too few fillings. I'm well versed in jaffle making and believe a triple-cheese cheddar addition with some ham will do. Decent value for a staple. 7/10.

Score summary reflects a sentiment of mild disappointment:

- Food - 6.5/10 - per a Chinese kitchen serving spaghetti, a heart-warming attempt to innovate.
- Value - 6/10 - gourmet options priced at non-digestible levels.
- Other - 8/10 - funky staff facial hair brewing amazing coffee.
- Overall - 6.5/10 - better suited for the coffee connoisseurs less picky about food.

On balance, a citizen’s arrest is narrowly avoided. Not a conviction recommendation.

Will I be returning?
Only for the almond milk latte, strictly cold-pressed (unconfirmed).

Suspicious of an agelessly slender, asexual clown doubling as the face of childhood diabetes?

Good news ... Ronald Mcdonald has ditched the clown suit and is wooing a more refined audience. The vehicle is The Corner by McCafe in Camperdown.

Warming the chairs are value-conscious students and RPA Hospital food refugees. I'm right at home with my shoe-string budget and desire for a medically inoffensive lunch.



Set-up is McCafe stapled to a Qantas Business Lounge salad buffet. Wife and trusted DSLR operator has just emerged from labour and is absent. Phone camera will suffice.

Eyes are set on the gourmet (Qantas) section. Respectably unique salads: mixed farrow, lentils and red quinoa and pumpkin; aka the superfoods of 2014. To my amazement, these are rotated daily.



Add some slow cooked proteins in giant pots. I read Pulled Pork and breathing becomes laboured. Ashamed to admit wasted box space on Moroccan Chicken and miscellaneous vegetables.



The result is an unaesthetic but highly satisfying, gourmet cafeteria style feed for $10.

Salads? Can't complain over these fresh versions of pre-made Woolworths' mixes. Lentil dressing is a let-down; sickly sweet. Complexity is still good, shown below.



Proteins? Pull-apart pork is absolutely fantastic! Indistinguishable from a high-end meat-house. If this were to be teamed up with a brioche bun and a creamy slaw, hospital patient visitations would skyrocket.

- Food - 7/10 - rotational well marinated proteins straddled over cafe-quality salads;
- Value - 8/10 - incredible utility from a $10 note.
- Other - 6/10 - clean, cafeteria-style dining, no-frills service.
- Overall - 7/10 - a formidable foray into gourmet fast-food.

Remove the food snob hat and accept The Corner as forgettably good feed. Not worth the detour but the stomach will not complain.

Today's lesson?
Even clowns can run a decent kitchen.

Will I be returning?
When child #2 is born, yes.
A few environmental shots below.